A large part of my trauma has been grief. It has opened a floodgate for all the grief in my life. Grief for what has been, for what is but isn’t, and for what will never be. Grief reminds me of the children’s game, ‘Going on a Bear Hunt’. You can’t go over it; you …
Category Archives: Finding Joy
My gift of joy
Last year was a rough year for me. I had things happen that had not happened before, like breaking my arm and having someone close to me break my trust. Incidentally, these two things happened at about the same time. At that point, I was unable to continue my blog. This was disappointing to me. …
Peace and Quiet
My mother was older when she had me. My siblings were all married off by the time I was 4. So when I would ask her what she wanted for a present her usual response was peace and quiet because she had everything else she wanted. I am at the age where I understand that …
Murky Middle
Somewhere between trauma and healing is the murky middle. It is murky because you have your highs, lows, and many days you can’t see where it is all headed. Recently I broke my arm and there is nothing like physical pain to remind you of the emotional stuff. This is when I realized I was …
The Story
When I was about 7 years old, my parents, namely my mom, decided to help out a friend of my stepfather, Ray*. I call the friend, Steve, to make things a little more simple. Steve had a work accident and this was back before workman’s comp and benefits so he was out of luck while …
I am broken
When I hear the words “I am broken”, it is very heart-wrenching for me. But really, it is the feeling that is behind the words that get to me. Here are two examples of how this was expressed: I was with a group of women and one of the women was describing how her week …
My healing journey
Recently as I lay on my couch at 3 AM dealing with pain from some emotional trauma. I realized that my finding joy is tied to a healing journey that I have already experienced. So my blog is going to share that process so that I might find joy. However, I struggled with where I …
Myopic
I have this quote on my wall: “A man prayed, and at first he thought that prayer was talking. But he became more and more quiet until in the end he realized prayer is listening.” (Soren Kierkegaard). Right now this is where I am at, I am listening but let me back up a bit …
Puzzles
Talk for Feb. 16, 2020 When Brother MacBean asked me to speak he told me the theme was what blessings do you receive from keeping the commandments but that I could do some version thereof based on what revelation I got. I saw Brother MacBean about a week later and he said the same thing …