My mother was older when she had me. My siblings were all married off by the time I was 4. So when I would ask her what she wanted for a present her usual response was peace and quiet because she had everything else she wanted. I am at the age where I understand that statement now.
My last blog was about the murky middle. The murky middle can last a while. Our bodies can only take so much. To be able to sustain ourselves we need to take a rest once in a while and in the last few months that is exactly what I did.
I gave myself the gift of peace and quiet, mostly. Taking care of ourselves has become a big thing lately. It is called self-care. It is not meant to be selfish but simply the act of doing things to help our bodies and mind to not be so stressed and find some peace and quiet.
I have mentioned I am in a current ‘murky middle’ of my own with a new trauma and last month got particularly murky. I am a religious person so I prayed and fasted for some freedom from conflict in my home. It worked. On Easter no less, I had a calm day. My husband and I had some wonderful conversations and our dinner was particularly restful as we talked and laughed. While I was laughing I realized it has been a while since I had laughed like that. It was so refreshing. This was my big day of peace and quiet.
So the day of rest was truly that and it provided some clarity. How? One way is to be still for a moment and let things settle. The trials and troubles don’t go away but you can see more clearly. I think the body’s nervous system has a minute to catch its breath, so to speak. I was less triggered and less sensitive. Little things that had been nagging at me and after the rest, they weren’t. I was more tolerant and adaptive.
Since that day I have been giving myself moments of rest. I have been doing physical therapy for my arm that broke and it starts with an ultra sonic wave through my shoulder with a heating pad. At first I would take my phone and try to work. Then I started leaving the phone in the car and bringing in a book. This is where the rest comes in. Taking a moment to just be still. Let the dust settle or sediment settle and let the nerves calm down. I would just lay there and let the machines work their healing magic while I did peace. I would take a deep breath and let it out slowly.
Our lives get really busy and we think if we just hurry up and finish then we can rest but let me share a story that might make you rethink that choice. Once when I was taking a typing test I noticed something. When I started I was typing as fast as I could. I was seemingly moving forward but was making tons of mistakes some I would correct but some I would miss. Then I would get my score and it would be terrible. The next time I took the test did what I thought was much slower and I found actually had a better score. I wasn’t just more accurate, I was faster. In my first effort, I was typing, going back to fix things, and then continuing on but I was actually impeding my movement forward. Instead of doing the two steps forward one step back, I was doing one step forward and two back.
In our healing we just want the pain to stop and be done but it is like my first typing test and my forward growth wasn’t there. The rest period is actually helpful in our forward journey of healing. It allows our body to rest and recoup from all the pain and stress.
So my best advice for this month is to take a moment to allow yourself some peace.